Elements of Story-Telling

How do I tell my story? As a Victor or Victim? Joel Osteen says this a lot, and I see how it makes all the difference. My words direct my course. Not usually what I speak aloud, but the message I send myself within. It's what I'm always structured by. Is it, "I am" or is it "I am not"? Yesterday I wrote a post that said, "I am not..." and it turned out to be a fail post.