I have come to terms with what I see I am responsible for in all I am and in all I do. I accept the saying in Scriptures, that a good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. Within is a living, breathing spirit that is housed in a temple to be kept clean and pure, for all you devote yourself to.
In my walk I have experienced a few things that I cannot deny. You transform your world with your space of which you see openings, of which you have awareness of what you are. The more backwards I go (undoing) from what I've become, the more free I am. From any point you may be, you can go to any other point. I wish I could find a picture of a person I saw on a TV program one day. I did not recognize the person from who she was before to who she is now. Your essence can be new. That is the trouble with fitting into a mold; the focus is too much on the outside, which bars the free you, not confined to anything, not obligated or living in the mind's past. Always a current energy.
Just doing one thing out of awareness makes you present. It's like a present to those around who pick up on it; on something so alive, living.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Dualism
The masculine and the feminine, the greater and the lesser.
Greater and lesser does not mean superior and inferior.
My mind is like the masculine and my emotions the feminine. I enjoy the experience of living in my emotions, I enjoy happiness and laughter. My mind likes to create happiness for the experiencer. If my emotions were obsolete, I would have a hard time enjoying any thoughts at all. However, I do not like to be subdued by my emotions. In this, I learn to appreciate my mind will continue creating thoughts in harmony with what I enjoy, and when I am in something I do not enjoy, I must continue in the act of creating, bringing in more waves of joy.
What brings up such reflections? Well, I wrote in my other blog about evolution and the making of us. I have been reflecting upon this ever since. I've been thinking upon my ancestors, even my grandparents, 3/4 of whom are deceased. Been thinking about attitudes towards them and towards the future. I have been spending quality time with my family (my extended family). In this short span of time, I have witnessed much. My dad fled to my uncle Maurice who was choking on food and unable to breathe. He did not even think about the fragility of his own back as he performed the heimlich. I witness how much my nephew loves his mama and feels secure and happy when he knows she is there. My cousins are respectful, loving towards each other and their parents, would drop what they are doing to help someone. We all have stories to share. We laughed at the way our grandfather was, would never let anyone mess with his children or grandchildren. When a man was harassing my aunt, saying he was going to go to her house, and she told her dad, he said, "Let him come. I'm gonna smash his face." We just laugh about it because it sounds funny to us, but on some level it just shows that he cared about us. My mom also shared how when she gave birth to my older late brother prematurely, she was at her mom's, unable to even move to the left or to the right because she was in great pain and greatly weakened from the struggle and having lost a lot of blood, with an ice pack on her. When she heard my sister (1 and a half years at the time) had fallen down the stairs, she sprang up and dashed right to her without thinking twice. When my mom told me I started tearing up, just knowing this love of mothers/fathers, even people around you is this strong if they see their baby or another person in trouble. You don't even think twice about it, it's instinctual.
*Another story I just got tonight: My cousin's husband, when they were dating, about 10 years ago, was getting beat up by about 15 other guys. He was dodging at first, but they held him in place and pounded him. Neither of his male friends did anything but my cousin came and put her body over his, covering him, so that they were hitting her. Can you imagine what she was feeling and what they were going through? They relented, but she came up with cuts and bruises. I had to hold back tears when he shared that.
The masculine and feminine attributes of a person are very important to me. Having one and denying the other leads to trouble. The masculine in denial of the feminine can lead to machoism, racism, any form of bigotry and bullying, and other things that seem to effect the pain body, as mentioned in Eckhart Tolle's writings. The feminine without the masculine can lead to women who are prone to entering into abusive relationships, the rise of self-cutters and eating disorders (for many, it seems).
Greater and lesser does not mean superior and inferior.
My mind is like the masculine and my emotions the feminine. I enjoy the experience of living in my emotions, I enjoy happiness and laughter. My mind likes to create happiness for the experiencer. If my emotions were obsolete, I would have a hard time enjoying any thoughts at all. However, I do not like to be subdued by my emotions. In this, I learn to appreciate my mind will continue creating thoughts in harmony with what I enjoy, and when I am in something I do not enjoy, I must continue in the act of creating, bringing in more waves of joy.
What brings up such reflections? Well, I wrote in my other blog about evolution and the making of us. I have been reflecting upon this ever since. I've been thinking upon my ancestors, even my grandparents, 3/4 of whom are deceased. Been thinking about attitudes towards them and towards the future. I have been spending quality time with my family (my extended family). In this short span of time, I have witnessed much. My dad fled to my uncle Maurice who was choking on food and unable to breathe. He did not even think about the fragility of his own back as he performed the heimlich. I witness how much my nephew loves his mama and feels secure and happy when he knows she is there. My cousins are respectful, loving towards each other and their parents, would drop what they are doing to help someone. We all have stories to share. We laughed at the way our grandfather was, would never let anyone mess with his children or grandchildren. When a man was harassing my aunt, saying he was going to go to her house, and she told her dad, he said, "Let him come. I'm gonna smash his face." We just laugh about it because it sounds funny to us, but on some level it just shows that he cared about us. My mom also shared how when she gave birth to my older late brother prematurely, she was at her mom's, unable to even move to the left or to the right because she was in great pain and greatly weakened from the struggle and having lost a lot of blood, with an ice pack on her. When she heard my sister (1 and a half years at the time) had fallen down the stairs, she sprang up and dashed right to her without thinking twice. When my mom told me I started tearing up, just knowing this love of mothers/fathers, even people around you is this strong if they see their baby or another person in trouble. You don't even think twice about it, it's instinctual.
*Another story I just got tonight: My cousin's husband, when they were dating, about 10 years ago, was getting beat up by about 15 other guys. He was dodging at first, but they held him in place and pounded him. Neither of his male friends did anything but my cousin came and put her body over his, covering him, so that they were hitting her. Can you imagine what she was feeling and what they were going through? They relented, but she came up with cuts and bruises. I had to hold back tears when he shared that.
The masculine and feminine attributes of a person are very important to me. Having one and denying the other leads to trouble. The masculine in denial of the feminine can lead to machoism, racism, any form of bigotry and bullying, and other things that seem to effect the pain body, as mentioned in Eckhart Tolle's writings. The feminine without the masculine can lead to women who are prone to entering into abusive relationships, the rise of self-cutters and eating disorders (for many, it seems).
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
He's Watching : )
My title could be inferred to mean something creepy, lol, but I don't intend it that way.
I love my nephew so much! He doesn't "Ohhhhh" anymore but he squeals lol. He plays. Too cute. I like laying down, lowering his upper body towards me, and raising him back up, he squeals as I lower him, and I lol. He also squeals in his delight as I loop around the room and sing songs like "Waltzing Matilda." I think he likes that song as much as I do =)
What I love is how he might be close to crying, but right when he looks at me in my playful delight and just seeing him as the sweetest thing ever and us all having a fun time, he smiles. It's as if he looks at me to see what's going on with him. My sister (his mom) was waltzing with him, and as she would turn around with him, he would look to my face and be smiling as if he's having a fun time. I love it. I'm always so happy to see him and to be around him (and my sister and bro in law too). I'm always affirming his accomplishments and all the unique qualities he's inherited and things that he's expressing. How he keeps trying to crawl at 4.4 months and how he can gain distance, he has strong legs, we'll see if he will start walking as soon as his mom did, he picks things up quickly, he's aware. I love that he has all of his instincts and survival abilities intact, and I always affirm him for those. I have so much fun with him, haha. The other day I read to him and he was actually turning the pages with his little finger, it was too cute. He also played on the piano a little, while making soft sounds with his voice. I just love him.
It's great having a nephew : ) Lots and lots of love and joy.
Blessings,
Tinah
I love my nephew so much! He doesn't "Ohhhhh" anymore but he squeals lol. He plays. Too cute. I like laying down, lowering his upper body towards me, and raising him back up, he squeals as I lower him, and I lol. He also squeals in his delight as I loop around the room and sing songs like "Waltzing Matilda." I think he likes that song as much as I do =)
What I love is how he might be close to crying, but right when he looks at me in my playful delight and just seeing him as the sweetest thing ever and us all having a fun time, he smiles. It's as if he looks at me to see what's going on with him. My sister (his mom) was waltzing with him, and as she would turn around with him, he would look to my face and be smiling as if he's having a fun time. I love it. I'm always so happy to see him and to be around him (and my sister and bro in law too). I'm always affirming his accomplishments and all the unique qualities he's inherited and things that he's expressing. How he keeps trying to crawl at 4.4 months and how he can gain distance, he has strong legs, we'll see if he will start walking as soon as his mom did, he picks things up quickly, he's aware. I love that he has all of his instincts and survival abilities intact, and I always affirm him for those. I have so much fun with him, haha. The other day I read to him and he was actually turning the pages with his little finger, it was too cute. He also played on the piano a little, while making soft sounds with his voice. I just love him.
It's great having a nephew : ) Lots and lots of love and joy.
Blessings,
Tinah
Friday, October 16, 2009
The calm
I just wanted to comment on how I've noticed that my nephew responds to my calm quite well, and not to a tense or anxious, forced state. I also noticed that he responds really well when I talk to him in Korean. I suppose the words I say would sound really silly trying to say them in English. They would sound like, "Who is this one who came out this cute this way" and with a respectful tone at the end. I also say things like, "So you have been well" in an honorific form in conversation with him and a lot of affirmations that sound more authoritative in Korean. He does this thing where he makes an "o" with his mouth and puts on the most sincerest eyes and makes these sounds back to you. It's quite funny. I talk a lot to him and he talks a lot back.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I am Determined
I am very grateful and blessed... more than I could made the way for on my own.
I have to learn to reach the highest height I can with what I have been given. I have to show the Universe that what I was given was not too much, that by continual grace, I will reach the highest potential I am created for.
I was not able to meditate before because of the condition of my mind and body. Now there is a way to overcome all these things. I am on that path.
I have to learn to reach the highest height I can with what I have been given. I have to show the Universe that what I was given was not too much, that by continual grace, I will reach the highest potential I am created for.
I was not able to meditate before because of the condition of my mind and body. Now there is a way to overcome all these things. I am on that path.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Beautiful Baby
These are photos a friend took of baby with his mom.
: ) He is sweet. Babies are to be provided the very best care. He's 3 months and a week and he talks a lot and laughs a lot. When his family (my sis & BIL) was over I was singing songs like, "Do you Love Me" and "Hey Now" and he just smiled a lot and sang along. He is so cute when he sings, it's quite funny! He reaches out his hand and grabs things too. The other day, I was holding him and bonding(he's so sweet), and a guest wanted to hold him. I gave him to her and he was looking at me and he reached out his hand to me. I hadn't seen him do that before.
: ) He is sweet. Babies are to be provided the very best care. He's 3 months and a week and he talks a lot and laughs a lot. When his family (my sis & BIL) was over I was singing songs like, "Do you Love Me" and "Hey Now" and he just smiled a lot and sang along. He is so cute when he sings, it's quite funny! He reaches out his hand and grabs things too. The other day, I was holding him and bonding(he's so sweet), and a guest wanted to hold him. I gave him to her and he was looking at me and he reached out his hand to me. I hadn't seen him do that before.
I think with my baby I wouldn't want to leave them with anyone else for the first few months. It would be hard to do this at all. I just want them to know I'll always be there.
Love,
Me
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Family Ethic
What I really mean by that is Social ethic.
Well, today I had a really great sense of it with my family. We all got busy making the house cleaner and looking nicer, and we all pitched in for each other. I really needed some software for my computer and my brother took notice and brought to me exactly that. My mom made some simple home-made food and I commented on how delicious it was and she showed me how she made it in that particular way I complimented on.
Well, I make it known here that I am interested in fruit as a pursuit of living in communion with Nature as I can honor this best in my life. I was thinking I want to continue this feeling of communion with family, without isolating myself to keep my lifestyle. It's going to take that extra boost of work. When I want to share recipes with family, I'm sure they would love it. I can introduce some really great fruit-filled plates. I can even make fresh versions of things like salsa, which seems to be enjoyed quite a lot. I just want that sense of community to always be there, to be in the meals together, in life together. A fallen thought would be thinking I might falter and so not going out at all and missing out on time together. Perhaps instead I can invest in something else towards this group, like setting up for something we'll play when returning from the meal, or something like that. I don't want to take away from this.
Well, today I had a really great sense of it with my family. We all got busy making the house cleaner and looking nicer, and we all pitched in for each other. I really needed some software for my computer and my brother took notice and brought to me exactly that. My mom made some simple home-made food and I commented on how delicious it was and she showed me how she made it in that particular way I complimented on.
Well, I make it known here that I am interested in fruit as a pursuit of living in communion with Nature as I can honor this best in my life. I was thinking I want to continue this feeling of communion with family, without isolating myself to keep my lifestyle. It's going to take that extra boost of work. When I want to share recipes with family, I'm sure they would love it. I can introduce some really great fruit-filled plates. I can even make fresh versions of things like salsa, which seems to be enjoyed quite a lot. I just want that sense of community to always be there, to be in the meals together, in life together. A fallen thought would be thinking I might falter and so not going out at all and missing out on time together. Perhaps instead I can invest in something else towards this group, like setting up for something we'll play when returning from the meal, or something like that. I don't want to take away from this.
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